I love this country not because I was born here, not because it has the most wonderfully crafted natural beauties in the world, not because it has the diversity of people, language and religion. I love this country for it’s democracy, a setup the whole world feels jealous about. We gave this world elections, we taught them how to micromanage such a large vibrant country and we showed them how to make a constitution that helps every last man in this country. I love this country because it allows me venerate Godse and bash the father of the nation, I love this country because it allows me to go on the streets and protest against the government. I love this country because it gave me the right to express what I want in this blog.

I always thought the love affair with your country is similar to the love you have on your mother something that doesn’t end but alas my love affair is nearing it’s end because of my country’s learned citizens. It’s coming to an end because of a group of people, who claim to be the representatives of me and trying to end the very basis of democracy that I loved in this nation. I think there are innumerable blog posts, articles and debates on TV about the bill. I am not going to get in to the nuances of the bill because the Janlokpal is dangerous and how dangerous it is will be known only when it’s passed in this country. If you still want to know why a few people is claiming it’s dangerous, read the articles listed below

1.Acorn’s article on Why Anna Hazare is wrong and Jan Lokpal is a bad idea.

2. @calamur’s article detailing the different problems in Jan Lokpal

3. Amba Salelkar’s article in Yahoo

4. CP Surendran’s blog in TOI on Why Anna Hazare should not win ? (perfectly echoes my POV)

The picture is licensed through Creative Commons from Lindsay Silveira through Flickr

What I am hurt more is the herd mentality of my country men. The way they blindly think that passing a law will magically transform the nation in to an uncorrupt nation is naivety at it’s heights .I am hurt by corruption too in day today life and had been a victim in the past. When I had to register my plot in Tanjore, I had to pay a bribe to get it registered. I asked why should I pay but I was helpless, I was just a mute spectator. But a Jan Lokpal is not the solution to curb corruption. Another law, another independent committee, another 1000s of Crores of my taxes going in to the drain. Strengthening of current laws and implementation will set the law part right but a stronger will to say no to corruption in our daily lives is more important.

I don’t know how many of these people who are there sitting and protesting in different parts of the country have read the Jan Lokpal and understood what it will do to them. The only thing they know is here is a man who is challenging the government on the issue of corruption, let’s join the bandwagon and protest. Have you ever read the bill? Have you understood what it will do to the people? Why a few judges, legal experts are against it? Why Anna’s demands are not feasible in this country? The problem with people like us is that we jump in to the mob without knowing the real implications and most of it are fed by the unscrupulous media which will even show live murders if their TRP is rising. The high moral ground taken by this people are extremely baffling as if they are not part of the system of corruption. The problem with the movement is they believe that corruption is top-down but it’s bottom-up in reality. Every individual is ready to circumvent a process in order to get his things done. We are basically a corrupt nation but the Jan Lokpal takes a single point of view that “Citizens are honest while sub netas chor hai”. Mind you, we are also the reason for people to be corrupt.

Moreover, the comparison with Freedom struggle and emergency struggle is even more saddening as they are unaware of the history of this country. Friends you would have been shot like birds if it were the British and you would have been beaten up in Jail if it was Indira Gandhi. Just give the government some respite, yes what they did was a mistake but they are not as bad as what you propagate in the media. I just pity on the people who have a simplistic view that Jan Lokpal will eradicate all corruption like magical bullet. I dunno how a farmer from rural TN who has to pay a bribe for getting EB connection will be helped by this magic called Jan Lokpal.

If this Jan Lokpal is passed in the way Anna Hazare and his team wants, it will become a wrong precedent to the whole nation where laws can be made on streets. Another day, another mob with another so called Gandhian leader will come and ask for another noble cause. If the country is ready for that, just go ahead support this man. Lets break down the parliament, let’s burn the consitution and let’s make vigilante laws in streets. A few of my friends even where in the view that it’s good to have such dictatorial committee to govern us. But they didn’t understand,the power to say that was given by our democracy. Another pathetic thing about this movement is considering people who are against the movement as pro-corrupt and pro-government.

For instance one of the Twitterers was hounded by hate messages because that person was against the movement. When Nandan Nilekani tried to explain why this will not work out in an interview, he is considered to be mouth piece of government. Read the comments in the posts I have mentioned earlier in this article, you will find how unreceptive these people are or you can also wait to see the comment streams in this blog post. When you have the right to express and right to protest, these people also have the right to express their concerns about the bill. I am more worried about the herd mentality of the people and the possible disintegration of democracy that my country is proud of. It pains alot my dear friends, it pains to see my country’s democracy in to pieces.

I just say I will quit India if Jan Lokpal is passed – my way of showing the dissent to the murder of democracy. After all, I have the right to express myself and that was given by the same democracy which you are killing.

Today, Tamil Nadu is going to vote to choose their next government and over the past month, I have been seeing National news channels, who had idiotic debates about TN elections and how people will vote. The discussions were not researched and whatever they discussed are nothing but misconceptions. In fact, I think Maithreyan (ADMK) and Elangovan (DMK) had super fun sitting in the listless debate. So here I am writing about the 6 misconceptions that everybody thinks is true about Tamil Nadu politics

1. People vote for celebrities

Although from 1967, most of the Chief Ministers are related to the movie world, People don’t vote for celebrities. Leaders have used movies as a tool to enter politics and propagate their ideas. In fact movies and plays were one of the reasons why dravidian movement gained popularity in TN. There were instances when movie stars failed miserably in elections, Sivaji Ganesan, who is considered to be quite popular with audiences could not even reach the doors of the assembly. Although MGR came in to power backed up by his filmi persona, his philanthropy and schemes were the important reasons why he successfully defended his chief minister post. Rajinikanth would have been a great force to reckon with in TN politics, if he had come in to politics during 1996 elections but he never did. I dunno whether he will gain the same kind of reception if he jumps into politics at this moment. Situations does matter for stars to plunge into politics.

2. The Freebie culture started in 2006

The freebie culture did not start in 2006. The freebie idea were used for good and bad reasons in the past. I would even consider the Free Mid-day meal scheme started by Kamaraj as a good welfare oriented freebie. It was lapped by many states and one of the reasons why Kerala has high literacy rate. DMK’s Annadurai came to power in 1967 with a promise that they will give 4.5 KG rice for 1 Rs. “Oru roobaikku moondru padi arisi kodukkavillai yendral, yennai muchandiyil vaithu adiyungal” was the election slogan for that election. Over the years, the election manifestos did speak about such freebies except for 1991 (Rajiv Gandhi assassination wave) and 1996 (Jayalalitha hate – Moopanar – Rajini wave). The free color TV scheme was just an extension but only the right coalition helped DMK come to power and not a simple coolr TV scheme. In fact, individually ADMK got 32.5% (8% more than DMK), without PMK and Congress , DMK would not have been in power.

3. What happens in Chennai is representative of the whole state.

There are major differences between the state capital and the interior parts of the state. Chennai has a larger population of immigrants who have settled down here for longer periods and also the issues that people face in Chennai city is different from the issues faced by the rural population. The English news channels never go beyond Chennai and they take it as a representation of the whole state. Traditionally Chennai has been a DMK bastion for these many years and it was rattled by ADMK in last elections when ADMK won 7 seats out of possible 16. The margins usually are less than the other parts of the state. Even the average voter turn outs are better in the rural areas than in the cities. Chennai is quite elitist population where everybody talks about major issues like corruption but never end up in voting booths to vote.

4. People don’t care about corruption issues

The English news channels project that 2G scam will be a major issue in this year assembly elections. It will be one of the issues but not a major one. There are other regional scams and problems which affect the common man in rural TN. Daily power cuts and infrastructure problems will rank higher than the 2G scam. People are also well informed about the central and state issues. The 2009 mandate for DMK-Congress in Lok Sabha elections were totally given for the Central govt. and not for state govt. The people are a smarter lot than the politicians and the media. TN is one state which has defied the exit polls and predictions in every election (of course except for 1991 and 1996, in which everyone knew who was the winner)

5. Tamil Nadu voters hate National parties and support only regional parties

Tamil Nadu was ruled by Congress for 20 years. It was not only because of post-independence hangover but Congress had wonderful leaders from Tamil Nadu. Rajaji, Kamaraj and Bakthavatchalam were charismatic and at the same time paved the basic platform for the state to flourish. In fact, Kamaraj was the Congress president when Nehru passed away and denied the Prime Ministership when it was offered to him. There is a big dent of charismatic leaders in regional Congress after the death of Kamaraj.

BJP on the other hand is seen as religion based party in Tamil Nadu and it never appealed to the Dravidian based political lineage of Tamil Nadu. BJP also has no charismatic leaders who can woo the Tamil Nadu voters. It’s the grave mistake on the part of National Parties and not the people. I don’t see the resurgence of national parties in TN atleast for the next 10 years

6. People vote for money

I am not saying people don’t get money but do they vote for the same party, is a million dollar question. But there are more stereotypical reasons why people vote. The biggest one is caste. People in Tamil Nadu for their caste candidate and that’s the reason why caste based parties and movements in TN gain so much traction during the election times. Another important factor is the choice of candidates, sometimes a clever choice of candidate who has popularity in the constituency can swing the votes towards a particular party. Money comes secondary in those areas. They will definitely get the money, who will say no to a lump-some amount of  money .

I am happy that the news channels and people want to comment about TN Politics but I hate the fact that only misconceptions about TN voters are spread across. Even the analysts who comment about TN politics never understand the grass root politics and issues. I would be happy if the reporting is based on some research.

Whatever they say Tamil Nadu has always given a clear mandate in all of the elections and it provides a stable government which helps TN to be placed in top 4 every year.

Disclaimer: This is an opinion/point of view. Many of you may agree or disagree, I just wanted to express my views on the topic :)

Scene 1: When I was working with Zoho, one of the customers from Australia tweeted about a reseller problem on one fine morning. I am used to track Zoho and ManageEngine (another brand from Zoho,which I worked for) in Twitter and I found the tweet, reported it immediately to my boss. The problem was taken to the sales team and it was solved by afternoon (night in Australia). The customer was happy and even tweeted good things about our sales team. Perfect example for customer care through social media. Cut.

Scene 2: One of my friends is working for Social media agency which in-turn maintains the social media implementation for different clients. I was inquiring how do they make updates on different brands. They have to send a list of updates which is approved by the marketing team in the client side and then they make those updates based on the situations. I was surprised and asked then how it is when it comes to sudden developments in the market or even a customer query that needs an immediate answer. The agency can’t make any substantial update without the approval of the client. Cut.

I have seen a good number of posts in different blogs on why a social media agency is needed and questions to ask before you hire a social media agency etc., but there were very less anti-theses to what is considered to be an universally accepted thesis. The two situations above and many other similar experiences along with this wonderful Forrester article by Sean Corcoran made me to write this article.

Photo by Emilie Ogez - Licensed through Creative Commons

No one can undermine the power of social media and it’s imperative for every brand to embrace this wonderful tool because it has given platform to interact with your customers direct and personal. But should you go for an agency is a question to be answered.

1. Social media interactions are personal

Everyone in the business agrees that social media interactions are personal and you need to be extremely careful when you talk to a customer online. One of the educated gentlemen by the name David Ogilvy once said, “The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife” and talking to a customer (potential customer too) in a social media platform is like talking to your wife in a party, even if its personal, everyone will hear it. And I would not like to talk to my wife through a third person. Would you?

2. Social Media is wholesome

The biggest problem that most brands face is that they are not aware what can be done through different social platforms. You have a whole gamut of things that can be done through social media. It can be leveraged to do research, develop your products, find potential beta testers, improve your SEO activities, find the right talent for your company, expert opinions, advertise and for some it can even become a customer support tool. If its that wholesome and dynamic, it’s not something which you can outsource to some third party. It’s like outsourcing your core function. Will you outsource your core functions?

3. Social Media is not advertising or PR

Advertising or PR is like shouting to the open crowd. The effectiveness of an advertisement or a PR campaign is not perfectly measurable in fact in recent times Social media platforms have become one of the best measures of offline advertising campaigns, for instance the Volkswagen Vento’s talking paper ad or even the ever favorite Zoozoos. Advertising and PR are generic whereas social media interactions are specific. So it’s utter stupidity to equate both. In fact the traditional agencies think and believe that they already have specific skills to evolve in to a successful social media agency as they are good in PR or advertising, which isn’t true.

4. Passionate about your brand

You can’t expect a third party agency to be passionate about your brand. Any day an employee is different from an agency. In fact there are a whole lot of examples where the social media efforts from top executives themselves reaped a lot of benefits. An agency never ever can be passionate about a brand. I don’t blame them but social media needs a little more interest, a little more involvement and a little more passion

5. Continuity in relationship

An agency has a shorter relationship with a company. Yes, there are a few long standing agency-brand relationships around but mostly agencies change. The way one agency handles your brand will not be the same as the other. Actually these days, the agencies have become so overwhelmingly enthusiastic that they want to change the whole strategy of the previous agencies. There are also chances of your social media expert from the agency may leave because of the cut-throat competition between agencies to acquire good talent. I don’t say that your employee will stay forever but the threat is less and moreover your strategy never changes.

6. Lack of co-ordination

The scenario which I explained in the situation 2 is a perfect example. Will you have the time to explain the strategies to an agency and if you have different agencies for your advertising, PR and social media, it becomes even worse. The co-ordination between your offline and online marketing activities should be spot-on otherwise you will be decimated in the online space. The Airtel 3G launch is the best example in which there was absolutely nil co-ordination between online and offline marketing activities

7. Social media is a commitment

The statement says it all :)

These are some of the thoughts that came in to my mind about outsourcing your social media. As I said earlier, it’s a view point and awaiting the comments of the readers.

A long standing post. It just got it’s due. Earlier this year I got a chance to visit the pearl of the Indian Ocean, Sri Lanka. A country ravaged by ethnic clashes and war over the years is just making its come back in to main stream tourism and we took a chance to go there because of less visa restrictions for Indians and cheap airfares from Chennai

My memories of Sri Lanka starts with the journey of Vandhiya Devan, the lead protagonist of Ponniyin Selvan, an epic from Kalki. Vandhiya Devan travels to the island in order to meet Arul Mozhi Varman ( Raja Raja Chozhan) who is fighting a war against the Sri Lankan king. With the vivid descriptions of the beatiful terrains and the sea, Kalki takes you along for a fantastic journey. You should read it to understand it.

A wonderful sunrise in Sri Lanka that I took from Galle to Whale Watching

While I grew up, I started learning about the Ethnic clashes which was happening in the country for so long. In fact, Raja Raja’s capture of Lanka was one of the main reasons of Tamil settlements in the country. Without knowing the complete history, we in school used to talk in length about the war and heroics of LTTE. It all changed with that horrific incident that happened on May 28th, 1991.

Rajiv Gandhi may have made a mistake in sending IPKF to Sri Lanka. In fact some of his economic policies hampered India but he was admired by a huge population. As a child, I loved, admired, adored and aduled Rajiv Gandhi. When the killing happened,it left with me a great scar against the LTTE. Yes, there are innumerable arguments, conspiracies surrounding the hand of LTTE in his killing. I go with the official investigations. ( Read Rajiv Gandhi Kolai Vazhakku by Ragothaman)

Pic Credit: www.divyabhaskar.co.in

With a heavy heart, which felt for those brothers and sisters who were devastated by the war and a confused mind, I landed up in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka stands to its name, the pearl of the Indian ocean. Expansive beaches, wonderful mountain terrains, odd waterfalls are nature’s poetry. I dont think we would have been able to visit the northern part as even human right activists are not allowed there.

We spent a day in Galle and we thought we will have Indian food in a small Indian Restaurant called “Indian Hut” near the Galle Lighthouse.  We actually thought of taking a parcel instead of eating and I left my friends in the car to click some pictures with my camera. There was a boy who worked as a waiter there. He started chatting up with me.

“India?”

I said “Yes”

He tried to talk in broken English and Hindi “Where?”

I said ” Chennai, Tamil Nadu”

He replied with a bright smile “தமிழா நீங்கள்? நானும் தமிழ் அண்ணா” (Are you Tamil? Me too) in Sri Lankan Tamil Slang. The Tamil slang of Sri Lankan Tamils are the purest form of Tamil and the sweetest to listen.

“நீ காலேவா?”

“அல்ல அண்ணா.நாங்கள் அனுராதபுரா அருகில் ஒரு கிராமம். அப்பா இல்லை அம்மா எசடடீல் வேலை செய்கிறார்கள்.தம்பி தங்கைகளுக்காக நான்   இங்கே வேலை செய்கிறேன்” ( No brother. We are from Anuradhapura. I have no father and my mother works in a estate. I work here to take care of my brothers and sisters)

“சண்டை நின்னு போனதுல உனக்கு சந்தோஷமா?” (Are you happy with the end of the war?)

“யுத்தம் நின்னு போனதில சின்ன மகிழ்ச்சிதான் அண்ணா. ஆனாலும் தமிழ் மக்கள் அனைவரும் அமைதியா இருக்க இயலுமா தெரிய அல்ல. எனக்கும் இங்கே சிங்கள நண்பர்கள் உண்டு, ஆனா இந்த நாடு முழுவதும் அப்படி இருக்குமா சொல்ல தெரிய அல்ல”

( There is a little bit of happiness at the end of the war. But you can’t say whether all Tamil people will be happy. I also have a few friends in Galle but I dunno how it will be in other parts of the country)

“வட நாடு அழகா இருக்குமா?” ( Is the northern part beautiful?)

“அண்ணா ரொம்ப வடிவா இருக்கும். மட்டக்களப்புக்கு போய் பாருங்க ஆனா யுத்தத்தால யாரும் போக இயல அல்ல” ( It was be so beautiful. You should go and see Matta Kalappu. Because of war, it’s all devastated)

I have heard that the pongal celebrations in the northern part is not to be missed. The Tamil communities celebrate it with authenticity.

“ஆனா இனிமே எப்படி மாறி போகும்னு தெரிய அல்ல.தெரியுமா உங்களுக்கு,கண்டில ஹிந்து கோயில்கள் இல்லாமையே போய்ட்டது” (I dunno how it will change in the future. Do you know,there are no traces of Hindu Temples in Kandy?)

I had read about this in a few blogs. The biggest fear I have from the end of the war is the loss of cultural heritages. As recently as last week, they have found a new artefact of Chozha’s age. When I was watching this 19 Yr old guy, I saw him as the example of the losses made by thousands young people around the country in terms of education, economic development and happiness.

I strongly believe that violence is not the solution for any problem. The world has seen so many failures of violent fights for independence ending in failures (even successes). Is ahimsa a valid alternative? What about Tibet then? It even has a leader who is as charismatic as Gandhi. So is a solution possible to these conflicts?

“அண்ணா இலங்கை உங்களுக்கு பிடிச்சிருக்கா?” ( Brother, do you like Sri Lanka)

I was hesitating to answer because of the confusion my mind was in and we had a very bad experience with the Sinhala driver.

“இடங்கள் நல்லா இருக்கு..” (The places are nice)

He replied with a wry smile, “மக்கள் தான்  நல்லா இல்ல, இல்லையா” (The people are not nice,right)

I just nodded my head in approval. What a profound thought. These ethnic clashes, racial attacks and fights are because of the basic corrupted mindset of human beings. We are the people who discriminate a particular human being because he is from a particular ethnicity, country, religion or caste. As long as we don’t change as an individual, nobody will. Till then Kashmir will burn, Lanka will bleed, Tibet will continue to lose identity and Gaza will be playground of bombs.

“உன் பெயர் என்ன?” (What’s your name?)

“Rijan அண்ணா” ( Rijan, Brother)

“அப்படினா என்ன அர்த்தம்,பொருள்?” ( What does it mean?)

“சொர்க்கத்தில் இருந்து வந்த கல் ” ( Stone from Heaven)

He was then called by the hotel manager. I smiled and left to the car wishing that his country becomes a heaven to prove his namesake. That young boy named Rijan taught me the pain of hatred and power of love.

Love is an emotion which is happy, painful, sad, lethal, ecstatic, passionate, compassionate, funny, lively but it’s never easy. What if it was easy to fall in love, easy to get together in life, easy to get permission from your parents to get married, easy to go beyond religion, caste and country.. What if love was easy…

1. I would not have got a topic to write a blog post
2. Shakespeare would not have penned Romeo and Juliet
3. Troy would have been safe
4. Ramayana would not have been possible
5. Laila and Majnun would have been just another married couple
6. Mark Antony would have lived to expand the Roman Empire and Cleopatra would have died at an older age
7. Napolean would have had a heir to his throne
8. Dante’s Divine comedy would have been a comedy of errors
9. Prithiviraj would not have kidnapped Samjukta in a horseback
10. The love letters of Eloise and Ablehard would not have been possible
11. Anarkali would not have been entombed alive and we would not have got “Pyar Kiya to Darna Kiya”
12. Queen Victoria would have had remarriage
13. Taj Mahal would be just a tomb
14. Alexandra would not have been executed just because she loved Nicholas of Russia
15. We would not have needed a BBC documentary to know about Jawaharla Nehru and Lady Mountbatten and try to ban a movie saying their love story
16. Princess Diana would be living happily  - still breaking some more hearts
17. Over aged singles in this world would be an endangered species
18. Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor would not have got married twice in the span of few years.
19. Mills and Boons would be cheap crap ( its still cheap for a few)
20. A lot of poets would have stayed clueless (including me )- uff what I would have written
    
    photo credit: prakhar
21. We would have trashed Devdas. No Paro. No Chandramukhi. Dilip Kumar would have needed another movie to become a star.
22. Eric Segal would not have written the  “Love Story”
23. Dharmendra and Hema Malini would not have converted to Islam just to get married
24. Silsila???
25. Tamil movies would have been saved from scenes were heroes fight for lovers and advice parents
26. Ilaiyaraja would have made only spiritual  and mother songs
27. Mani Rathnam would have made only patriotic movies while AR Rahman would have settled for patriotic songs ( we would not have got Mouna Ragam and Alaipayuthey..ooo. I can’t imagine)
28. Titanic would be just another disaster movie and James Cameron would have been a just another director
29. Da Vinci Code would be crap ( Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene..???)
30. Spencer plaza, Sathyam theatre and Citi Centre would be out of business (Ampa Mall is recently added to the list – Chennai’s happening places).
31. Who would sit in the hot sun of Marina and Besant Nagar beaches???
32. Dupattas would be in shoulders
33. No. of suicide attempts would have come down
34. A few debatable topics would have reduced for the news channels
35. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge would have been a first day flop (it’s running for 15 years on the trot in a theater in Mumbai)
36. There would not be guys standing in front of girl’s college gates
37. There would not be girls fasting in front of police stations
38. Suicide Point in Kodaikanal would not have got that infamous name
39. Religion and Caste would have been dead and buried
40. A few police stations would not have become marriage halls
41. Gay parades would not be there.
42. A lot of lovers would not have eloped
43. A few parent hearts would not have broken
44. There will not be broken marriages.
45. Diaries need not be a secret.
46. Arranged marriages would have been a rare spectacle the world will be waiting for
47. This world would have been a better place to live with lesser problems, lesser fights, lesser murders and love
48. I would have been father of a child
49. You would have been a wife of the love of your life
50. And we would not have met….

P.S : This post is dedicated to you

Update: The supreme court hasn’t passed a judgement yet but only an observation on the case but looking at the observation it looks like it will  be judged in favour of Khushboo but they have spoken about pre-marital sex and live-in relationships. This is because i had a comment regarding it. Her case is just a trigger to the post and not the basis. I have changed the judgement as observation. You can get more info in the following link – http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article7074875.ece

My thoughts on marriage have always been criticized by my family and peers (don’t see the comments, the arguments usually happen offline). Yesterday I watched “We the People” in NDTV on the topic “Happily Unmarried?” which had some wonderful view points on marriage and relationships. Although my fondness towards Barkha Dutt has deteriorated over the years especially after 26/11, I like “We the People” concept as it brings out some real thoughts from real people.

Why this discussion first of all?

Supreme Court on a reply to a plea by Tamil Actress Khusboo has come out with a consequential observation on March 24th. Khusboo in an interview to an English Magazine in 2008 had said that “there is nothing bad about pre-marital sex and it’s a personal decision of individuals” which eventually triggered a slew of protests from fundamental groups and political parties in Tamil Nadu. There were 22 civil and criminal cases against her in different courts of Tamil Nadu. Her plea to High Court to quash the cases were turn down and she had to appeal to supreme court.

The Supreme court in an observation said that “even the Hindu gods, Lord Krishna and Radha, were cohabiting lovers rather than man and wife. “When two adult people want to live together, what is the offense?” they said. “Living together is not an offense. Living together is a right to life.” And they crticised all the cases against Khusboo questioning the attitude of accusers and asked for proof on how Khusboo’s statement affected the young minds (Sourced from Timesonine.co.uk More on the observation)

So the discussion in NDTV and the judgment of Supreme Court triggered this post. Disclaimers before putting my viewpoints

1. Living Together here means two people in love and want to live together without the legal binding of marriage according to the marriage laws of India or any other country. Live in relationships here doesn’t mean casual flings, pre-marital and post-marital affairs

2. Marriage here means legal marriage either by consensus of two adults or an arranged marriages by the mutual consent of families (although my definition of marriage is different )

3. I am not speaking for any of my friends or family. All the views are my own and I stand by them. I am neither married nor living in with my partner so what ever i have written is all based on observations.

Let’s face some facts. The percentage of arranged marriages in India is  70% (enormous – Sourced from Love will follow by Shaifalil Sandhya). The number of broken love are many and they usually happen because either of them leave the relationship because of an emotional bonding with parents. Even the so-called educated upper middle class in India doesn’t approve of love marriages. Arranged marriages in India happen based on caste, clan, religion, familial ties, status, business and even for honour. In fact most of the love marriages in India are accepted by parents only when both of them are from same caste, religion or status. “If two adults want to live together, why can’t they in an independent democratic country” – a pertinent question that has no answers in this country. Marriages are beyond two individuals in India and that’s why I don’t believe in it.

A relationship in my terms are between two individuals and it’s for the two individuals to decide whether to live together or marry or even stay as friends forever co-habit in the same house with or without being physically attached.I was in love too and I was thinking marriage is the end of it all. But I had to face the reality when it broke because of the same old reasons of broken love in this country. I started thinking about marriages in India. I was pressurized by family to get married. My profile was floated around and even my dad has a Bharat Matrimony profile for me. Even then they were settling down for the same religion, caste and status. Never wanted to go beyond.

I never believed in arranged marriages. I never found a point in it because i never found genuineness  in the arranged bonding of two people. Love after marriage is impossible proposition in my life. It would be an suicide where I would live half dead all through my life.

The biggest problem of marriages especially in India is the loss of individuality. A person loses his or her identity in marriage at some point or other. And Indian marriages give a raw deal to women more than the men. And eventually the fairer sex who lose their identity and individuality in the process. Yes, people claim that they are happy after marriage but how many of the married women have achieved what they intended to achieve before marriage? If they have achieved, what’s the time frame it took them to achieve them? Indian marriages are based on compromises and compromises are made in a way that it changes the life of the people involved especially women folk in marriage.

The biggest advantage of live-in relationships is that the individuality of both the partners will be preserved. They don’t need to change their career aspirations, tastes, life style or even day to day living habits. The relationship stays between the two and not obligated to family of either. In India, you are not married to a person, you are married to a family. In a live in, you are in a relationship to an individual and not a family.

When I was discussing it with a friend, she said “How about a perfect marriage where the individuality of both the partners are preserved?”

Yes it’s perfectly possible and I have seen a few marriages which provides equal space to both without compromises in life and the changes they incur are willful and which doesn’t kill their individuality in the name of love or family. But it’s a rarity. In real terms, it’s a dream marriage (be it love or arranged). Even in such a case there is a problem called “ownership problem”

The moment when people say “I do” in whatever language they say, they take it as “I own you”. The general perception of men and women who enter in to marriage is that they have every right to know everything about the partner which I would call “invasion of personal space”. I believe every individual has a personal circle around them and they want have certain secrets to themselves. The other person trying to get in to that space in the name of love is dangerous until and unless they allow you to. Even then I would say it’s not right.

A live-in relationship starts on this very basis – Yes, we are in a relationship but it doesn’t mean you can come in to my space and mine in to you. People live together because they love each other and not because they own each other. The sense of ownership is the biggest issue I see in marriage and love.

I can hear voices asking “So you will live-in with a girl?”
For me marriage is a ritual – a mere string tying or ring exchanging ceremony. I would love to live with a girl whom I love and not invade in to her own personal space, help preserve her individuality, enjoy each others growth as an individual and live a life of love. Call it marriage, love or live-in relationship, What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet

A question to all of you – If you are not married, Will you be ready to lose your identity and individuality in the name of love and marriage?

If you are married, have you lost your identity and individuality in the name of love and marriage?

Comment anonymous if you like to :)

I have this wonderful habit of dropping things when I eat and that day the soup cup was so fragile that I had to be extra careful that I should not drop it. I have to say about a few people I met during the breaks – Dinesh, my junior at MBA – absolutely creative guy who got a job in Oracle in the most bizarre way you can think of, left the job in 6 months to join Radio Mirchi because he felt Oracle was boring… ;)

Felix Chandran – who did the creative stuff for TedX Chennai – Should I say more?

Smriti – consultant at Delloite US. She had come for a vacation and visited TedX

Rabi and Christian Fabre – CEO of Christian Fabre fashions – interesting personality.

Chinmayi – Singer, RJ, VJ and Enteepreneur. Had a good conversation with her about her business, reality shows, education etc. She has a company called Blue Elephant – a linguistics company – in simple words they do translation services. They also do translation services for Zoho.

Rama Vadakattu – works in eBay but with entrpreneurial spirit and a host of guys from Thoughtworks…

I was hoping for a good session after lunch because they had a good lunch and I didn’t want to sleep off…

Kavita Balliga

She started with these words ” I am not going to campaign for any NGO, any activism etc but I am going to share my story. Five years back the doctors broke the news to me” – I was like what news?

She had a type of Cancer and was given the date for death. What will you if you know your date of death? 90% of the people would lose heart, may be get religious, wait for the death day with utmost sadness. She was also shocked, didn’t know what to do but what she did afterwards was wonderful. She started learning guitar by herself, then went for formal music training, cooking, photography, she did whatever she could do…

She became a oprah singer, colloborated with AR Rahman for Passage and now teaches music in KM Music Conservatory of AR Rahman. Yes, she passed through the test of Cancer and she lives till now, positively. A inspiring and moving story ended with an oprah rendition of Laughing Aria. One statement of her stood in mind after her talk – ” my days with cancer and chemotherapy are the best days in my life”

N.Vittal

I think after the moving story – most of them were sad, few even shed some tears. But Vittal made everyone laugh and think at the same time. Mr. Vittal was part of the telecom and Internet revolution of India as a Chief Secretary in Ekectronics and Telecommunication Ministry and very widely known for his work as Chief Vigilance Commissioner.

His witty one-liners like

“Diabetes is like corruption. You can’t eliminate it but you can control it.”

“A consultant is one who borrows your watch for telling the time, and walks away with it!”

“Only two pathys kept me going over the years. Venkatachalapathy and Allopathy”

were hilarious but thought provoking. He seeded a thought in to our minds. He says the best warfare in the world is to nullify the strength of the enemy. The strength of those people who corrupt the system is money. He tried to open the minds of the people and asked them to think about ideas which will nullify the power of money..

Sathish Babu

I have been weary of bureaucrats all through my life. I believe that the inefficiency of the babus is hampering our country’s progress. Because they can’t be thrown out of power like the politicians. A corrupt bureaucrat is a bigger menace than a corrupt politician. But a few bureaucrats in India change the world around them fir the good. Some like TN Seshan are in limelight but a lot like Swaran Singh are hidden gems.

Sathish Babu is one such hidden gem. Now the director of Elcot, he explained how he and his team successfully implemented rural BPOs and backtoschool programs in Krishnagiri, one of the most backward and Naxal hit districts of Tamil Nadu

I can’t explain his achievements in a small article. The way they planned the BPOs, implement it in small abandoned buildings in Vilages and training the young unemployed youth. Tremendous achievement…

For getting educated youth, you need the children to go to school continously – to make it possible they have used technology and local actor fan clubs to track every child eligible for school education. He demonstrated the live tracking process. It was not design rich but I believe that’s one of the most useful applications ever made for the betterment of people.

Sathish Babu is positive about everything. He even alternate positive part of free tv scheme of the government. He says ut actually takes information to the poor people. I remebered the Superfreakonomics theory of TVs empowering Indian rural womenfolk..

He says “you can’t change India. If you think so you are a fool. You change whatever you can change in the domain you are operating. India will change by itself “… According to me his was the perfect TED Talk of TEDx Chennai…

Khurshed Batliwala – Art of Living

The last and the worst shocker of the day for me. I don’t understand the connection between Art of Living and TED… I am a non-believer and I hate life improvement classes. Who are they to say how I should live? I frame my rules,values and the way of living.,,

His talk was a perfect marketing pitch for art of living classes. In such talks you will have statistics which are hiked up and shown as more important than any other problem in the world. Then as a solution they will make everyone to do a simple meditation technique and then try to prove that way is the solution for your problems…

There are more people who die of poverty in this country than stress suicides. There are more people killed by terrorist attacks than suicides. The presentation was the richest as it was done in Mac but it was inappropriate and blasphemous for TED…

Jeeva Raghunath

After that dissapointment, I was waiting for someone who can change my mood. Who better than a children story teller. I think most of us would have forgotten the stories we hear and we make during childhood days. She rendered 3 stories with actions and she actually made every one as a child all over again. I just thought “how wonderful it is to be a child”

Satyabrata Dam

“I am damn jealous about this guy” - that was the live tweet I made when I was seeing the pictures he took. I love to travel, but I travel less. I took a vacation after 4 years… And it was the best 9 days I had. Every journey is a learning.

This guy was a traveller and he climbs mountains. He says he is trying to find new ways to kill himself. 22 years in Navy with 7 years as director of adventure sports in Navy now studying MBA at IIM A, a oceanologist, advisor to Irish Govt and an eternal traveller

I am not finding words to describe this guy. His life us scary, his photos were breathtaking and his talk was candid. Just visit his blog , you will understand what I am talking about…

Awesomeness Personified

TEDx Chennai was a fantastic experience for me. It actually gave me a inferiority complex. I thotht and still thinking whether I am living a monotonic life… I would not say it was life changing experience but it definitely inspired me to make some adjustments to my life. I will live better tomorrow than today…

So the answer to my question – I am going to stay in the same domain as I am and try to do my part perfectly. I have a small land in Tanjore, with which I am going to explore the opportunities of farming. I have decided to travel to one unexplored place (by me) every year and take my photography little bit seriously…

PS: Kudos to all the people who were behind TEDx Chennai. It was really a wonderful event..

– Post From My iPhone

Disclaimer:

1. All views in the post are mine and written with an open mind.

2. I am not going to bore you with my bad photographs. Check the following link for wonderful photographs from Felix Chandran. ( another awesome guy I met in TedX Chennai)

http://picasaweb.google.com/felixchandran

I was travelling back from TedX event in IIT to my home. As it’s a long bus back, my thoughts were spinning around the people who I met, listened and interacted with. I had 3 questions in my mind

1. Should I quit my job and start agriculture, which I believe can be transformed in to an organized industry in India?

2. Should I quit my job and start travelling from North Pole to South Pole just like that haphazardly without any plan in mind? Mind you travelling is one of the many things I love

Or

3. Should I stay where I am and make small changes in my own domain with the simple powers I have and make a difference in the lives of the people I know?

The answer at the end of the series

TED is a short form for Technology Entertainment Design, a non-profit organization which has a sole aim of spreading new ideas in whatever domain you can think of. Recently TED came to India and the first conference held in Mysore was a huge success. Ok I don’t think people like me could have attended it because the ticket comes at a princely price of $2400 ( a lakh and odd). But you can see the videos for free online after two weeks of the event. The videos are a rage in Youtube – never miss those

For those people who can’t attend, there are independent TED events, licensed by TED foundation called the TedX. A set of volunteers from Chennai took the challenge of organizing and what a event it was….

I was personally inspired by the TED videos and when TedX was announced in Chennai. I was so sure that I am going to attend. I got the ticket from Joe, my friend who was also part of the organizing team (I paid for it guys). There were lot of people who were cribbing that Rs.1000 as costly but I knew the worth. I thought the organizers did it in order to restrict the number of people..

After a early rise on a Sunday morning ( that’s unusual for me. I usually open my eyes at around 10 on a Sunday) and a long slow bus ride (which I didn’t expect) reached the IC & SR Audi of IIT, Madras just on time for the breakfast. I savored the tasty pongal and Vada but missed the coffee (he he he). I should admit that I was thinking that it will not start on time…

With only few minutes delay ( events in Chennai get late by one hour usually), the event started with Kiruba Shankar, introducing TED and TedX. The first technical glitch came with the first video of Chris (TED Founder) which didn’t work. Kiruba was quickly rescued the situation joking on how they played it 20 times the day before.Sometimes Technology fails you even in a Technology event ( should I say windows failed you? )

Anil Srinivasan and Sikkil Gurucharan

It was apt to start the conference with music and that too a fusion of Western Harmony and Carnatic Music. Anil, a trained western classical pianist and Gurucharan, a Carnatic vocalist started their tryst of colloboration music 4 years back using Skype Chats. Now the duo is four fusion albums old and a number of awards.

Anil shared a few stories of how Sarangi became Piano and how western classical piece became “Kaatrinile Varum Geetham”. They dumped the talking after a few minutes and Anil’s piano started the talking, sorry stirring my soul… With Gurucharan’s voice blending, it was a morning filter coffee with the Cappucino twist. Slowly they moved on to “Aasai Mugam” by Bharathiar, which was soulful.

Anil felt the sounds were not good so they performed ” Naan yenna vilayattu Bommaiya” by Papanasam Sivan, which was ice cream topping for the morning. I was amazed the way western piano and Carnatic music blended. It was interesting to know that “Aasai Mugam” was written on Bharathi’s mother and Krishna. He wrote the poem after the picture of his mom was burnt in a fire.

P.S: The same western classical blend with Indian classical is what you hear in Ilaiyaraja’s music. For better understanding, listen to Thiruvasagam.

Krupa of Sukrupa

TED is about sharing the life experience of one and how they had made something in life. There is a very thin line of difference between sharing and pitching. Krupa along with her mother started an NGO Sukrupa which empowers woman slum dwellers to lead a better life through education and self employment.

Although her concept was great and idea was profound, the talk was more like a marketing pitch for her NGO rather than a Ted talk. I felt she could have put her experiences in a better way and that was the first shocker of the day.

Sharada Ramanathan

Sharada, an Independent Film maker and the director of “Srirangaram” – which won a host of international awards and was revered in famous film festivals.

Sharada’s talk was deep, thought provoking but extremely biased. I accept her thoughts about movies which have to go to the grass roots and create meaningful content but she tried to create a stir by criticizing the populist movies. It’s the same old argument of the so called “intelligent” film makers on the so called “masala” film makers. As a ardent movie buff, I believe all the type of movies can co-exist in an Eco system. The people of India are appreciative of any good movie which will enrich and entertain them. We usually compare our movies with Korean, French, Spanish and English language movies. I think all these movie ecosystems have all kinds of movies for the people to watch. Sharada’s accusation and statements were more like attention grabbing whereas it could have been a wonderful insight in to Indian Cinema.

GRK Reddy

The next shocker of the day. I can’t even remotely agree this was a TED Talk. I agree his life could have been a inspiring story of a bureaucrat becoming a businessman but it looked more like a simple sales pitch for Marg Swarnabhoomi. Don’t you agree the AR Rahman concert was the biggest marketing tactic to bring people to Swarnabhoomi and experience it? I can’t explain more as most of the crowd was disinterested in the talk.

Romulus Earl Whitaker

After a shocker comes the pleasant whiff of nature in Whitaker’s form. Romulus Earl Whitaker aka the Snake Man is a Herpetologist who was instrumental in creating the Snake Park in Chennai ( visit it once.. Your fear of snakes will fly away)

His talk was about how they are using technology and community development to develop the Agumbe Rain forest and conserve the King Cobra population in the area. King Cobra is a speciality of India and he explained the facets of Cobra with superb humour. His jab at Chennai ( Red Dog ) showed his love for Madras. Don’t worry Romulus, we don’t have a Raj Thackeray here :)

R.Madhavan

Madhavan’s talk was arguably the best talk of the day. An IITian, quit his job at ONGC and started farming ;) Yes, he believes and works for making Agriculture as an Industry. His talk was so thought provoking and statistics were hard hitting

“If 80% of the population are in to agriculture why 40% of the children are mal-nutritioned”

“the agricultural universities never know the reality of the farmers and farmers do not even know there is an agricultural university. There are 100 prototype machines made every year in these universities bur never see the light of production”
Through his research he had identified 20 different parameters which can improve agriculture but he could explain only 5 major parameters due to time constraint.

His idea was simple. He says “it’s not about the amount of area used for agriculture matters but the productivity of the land is more important”. He also took a dig at the “Land Ceiling Act” which became a deteriorating factor for Indian Agriculture. Coming from the granary of India, Thanjavur, his talk created a whirlwind of emotions in my heart. I am not able to come out of it till this moment.

Abdul Kalam quoted about this guy ” we need a million Madhavans for India” … Yes we do need. With that thought we broke for lunch…

To be continued…

– Post From My iPhone

The day i finished reading ‘State of Fear‘ and the research i did there on, enlightened me on the way people exploit the fear of environment. It’s just the state of fear which people are forced to think that if we don’t contribute to the earth hour, we are considered to be murderers of nature..

For the unknown, Earth hour is a initiative started by WWF ( said so, there are reports it’s media hype of some big news corps to save their business) to voluntarily switch off all the electric appliances in your house for one hour on March 28th, 2009. In India, it’s going to be from 8.30 PM to 9.30 PM. Of course the movement is supported by the media and celebrities alike.

It’s absolute farce and a extreme stupidity in both scientific sense and logical sense.

First the Scientific Sense,

1. I accept the ice sheets of Antartica are melting. But it will take another 3000 years to bring any catastrophe to this world. It’s a normal process of nature and it’s true that we are on our way to the next ice age. We can’t stop or prevent the forces of nature.

Make some goo reading of why Global warming is not what they say

http://jennifermarohasy.com/blog/2009/03/global-warming-in-perspective/#more-4276

2. Jennifer Marohasy is a progressive environmentalist and proprietor of the Politics and Environment Blog further explains:

Earth Hour was held during a time of peak electrical load, so any electricity generation displaced would be peak load, probably running on natural gas. Such generation produces about 500 grams of CO2 for every kilowatt-hour.

So turning a 100 watt light bulb off for an hour saves 50 grams of CO2, or 13 grams of carbon. A candle is mostly carbon by weight, and candle wax is only moderately less dense than water at room temperature. This means that burning just 5 cm of a typical 2 cm diameter candle will produce more CO2 than running the 100 watt light bulb for an hour. If the light that was turned off is fluorescent, then even less candle can be burned if there’s to be a net reduction in CO2.

( excerpt from Danu Payner’s Blog)

3. The amount of money loss the Earth hour can do is more than the gain which it’s going to make ( awareness bull shit)

The Logical Sense

1. This has become a fashion to associate one self to a particular cause and popularizing it. Why don’t you guys leave your cars for a day and commute in public transport? It will help the earth better than switching off lights. ( I commute in Public Transport and walk as much as I can)

2. It’s better to improve and invest in science and technology to find better options of power, appliances to conserve energy rather contributing to earth hour.

3. The energy, time and money can be used in fruitful way rather than wasted in a pointless campaign.

My final say – in order to fight this stupidity, I pledge myself to ‘Hour of Power” started by Tim Blair .

I will switch on as much electrical appliances and lights as possible to go against the Earth Hour. Join me to stop this stupidity.